You may be in a place right now, where all you can do is wait for God to move or make a way in a situation as I mentioned in Part 1, and that’s a really valid place to be in… I mean I’m finding myself in that very place right now. But just because you’ve stopped at a point in life where there’s no choice but to wait, doesn’t mean there isn’t work to be done in the very spot you’re in. This is where we come out of that narrow sighted mindset.

I can say all the things in Waiting Part 1 because I’ve experienced it.

I’ve paralysed myself for years while I kept romanticising the next “part” of life… where I learnt time after time the grass is never greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.

I have also used waiting as an excuse not to move, not to get on and explore what I could be doing in the place of life I found myself at. This sometimes came to be because I didn’t feel like life was how I wanted it to look yet, almost like it had to be perfect and polished in order for me to do the things God had put on my heart to pursue or the dreams I had.

I find myself in that exact place right. now.

Waiting lying in bed

I have been sick for well over a year now, and housebound / bed-bound for the last 6 months, and at the moment I don’t quite see the light at the end of the tunnel.. YET.

I’ve gone through many emotions as I lie in my bed, getting sick of the same 4 walls that surround me. I’ve been angry, sad, scared, hopeful, frustrated, anxious, I’ve also felt sorry for myself (which I’ve had to quickly snap out of).  So while I’ve been lying here, I’ve had a lot of time to think.. and that’s not always a good thing for me because I seriously overthink things to a fault (I can already hear people who know me well yelling Amen). But God has been softly nudging me with this revelation about waiting and it’s switched on a light bulb within me.

There are many things I feel called to do, dreams in my heart I want to act on, divine inspirations about creative new ideas etc. However, if I’m honest, life always seems to get in the way and I push these passions to the side for yet another day. And sitting here in my bed, I find myself not lacking in time or adequate excuses. Sure, there are pursuits in my heart that I can’t physically act on right now because of pain and illness, but then there are so many I could be doing right from my duvet. I suddenly realised, if I don’t start living in my now, and embracing the place I’m at, I’m going to look back and regret all the missed opportunities.

This blog has been one of those big things for me that I know I needed to start.. I have been putting this off for 2 years because of so many different reasons. Buuuuttt if we’re going to be honest… It was really 2 main things I allowed to stop me – 1. I “never” had enough time AND 2. I had paralysed my train of thought by wayyyy over thinking it.

Being Active in the Now.

It’s easy to be selfish when you’re so sick, I can lift both hands up and say that there have been times I’ve been totally selfish because I felt sorry for myself, but I really struggle with thinking that’s an okay excuse. So I’m challenging myself to act on a few things I know God has placed on my heart for me to do (like this blog). And also I’m actively looking for people and places, whether it be online or in person, where I can share my faith, as well as encourage fellow Christians going through the same thing – waiting on God for a crucial breakthrough. I also want to encourage and be there for people who perhaps have no faith, or are completely alone. I’ve met some incredible people on a couple of online support groups, where I’ve not only got connected with my Neurosurgeon in Liverpool but I’ve also had a chance to talk about my relationship with Christ.  And you know…  It became more and more clear to me, how people will listen to you a whole lot more, when you’re down in the dirt with them, suffering and waiting for a miracle too.

People will listen to you a whole lot more when you're down in the dirt with them. Click To Tweet

So this is one of the ways I’m trying to get out of a passive mindset even if I’m house or bed bound. I’m not perfect though, I’m still learning how to make the most of every day, and of every situation. Sometimes I drastically fail and I have missed many opportunities, but that just makes me more determined not to be passive anymore.

The Challenge.

We all go through life, my current situation may be a bit better or a bit worse than yours right now, but regardless I just want to challenge you… don’t miss out on all the things God wants you to do or the things He wants you to learn OR the people he wants you to reach, during your time of waiting. Opportunities you won’t ever have again. So ask God what you can be doing, even if it’s a one liner prayer. ??

And for those of you, who perhaps don’t have any kind of faith at the moment. I’d challenge you, what do you have to lose? I couldn’t have gone what I’m going through now without Jesus. If you have any questions, I’d be more than happy to correspond with you! Just click the “Get in Touch” in the menu above!

 

As I finish this post off, I came across a prayer by Louie Giglio in a YouVersion Bible plan, which said all the things my heart wanted to say.

Father, meet me in the waiting, the place where I long for what is not fully in view. Still my heart and give me the ability to know that You are near. I believe Your plans are good. I see it in the birth of Your only Son.

But sometimes I struggle to see beyond the haze that surrounds me. Renew my confidence as I lift my eyes to You. Be glorified in my life during this situation. Amen.

Future Esther