I’ve mentioned a couple times on here about “being sick” and especially with a pretty big week coming up… I thought I’d share my journey so far and a paint a picture of my life right now, since many of you may of just heard bits and pieces of it.

I realise it’s not really someone’s idea of fun to read through someone else’s difficulties and pain when I’m sure you’re all going through your own. I don’t want this to be a pity party in my honour. All of this is just to paint an initial picture of what I’m know is going to be an incredible comeback story.  

In early March 2015, I started getting really severe head and neck pain. My first thought was that maybe I had twisted my neck and trapped a nerve going up to my head. But when I thought back, I realised that I had suffered with really bad neck and head pain when I was I looking after my Dad in the Hospice 18 months previously. But with all that was going on and then after my Dad passed away, and dealing with the aftermath, I just didn’t pay attention to what was physically going on inside me.

Grab a snack.. 

So to cut a super long story short… although I warn you the short version is still “Get a snack ” long… so now’s your chance.

So in March and April 2015, I kept going to back to my GP because the pain wasn’t going away – they treated me with the usual painkillers, a small amount of muscle relaxants etc. But…The pain just wasn’t being touched, in-fact it was getting worse and I started to lose feeling in my hands and arms as well as some parts of my face, so they tried some stronger drugs to target nerve pain. Well… by September 2015 I was taking 30 pills a day (and I still am), no exaggeration. (I kept all the boxes so one day, I can use them as part of my story and testimony.)

I met with a couple of really unhelpful doctors during the Summer and then into the Autumn, but no one could.. or lets be honest, wanted to help me. I was a young woman with a complicated problem and all the basic tests they had done on me all came back inconclusive. I was told I was a difficult case (due to my age) and it was clear no one wanted to spend the money on me or go near me lol. I don’t know if any of you have been there… but all of a sudden, my mental health came into question… Like “if we can’t easily find the cause then it must be in your head.” No honey. ☝?

By November, I was told the only place left for me to go was the Chronic Pain specialist, which I had to wait 3 months for an appointment. By this time, I was still in agonising pain and had so much pressure behind my eyes, I also had crippling nausea, more loss of sensation and serious muscle weakness/loss in my hands that was now going to my legs, vision problems…and a bunch of other really ugly symptoms which I’m sure everyone can use their imaginations for. ?  Over the months I’d also had deterioration of my cognitive and memory mental faculties, all of which made every day life really difficult.

So come December, my symptoms grew in severity again, and were really debilitating, so I had to completely stop working. Thankfully my Mom and I own our own business, so my income did keep coming in and my Mom was a rockstar taking everything on. She’s a keeper. ?

Christmas and New Years, I spent in bed and actually from then on I’ve been pretty much bed bound and housebound. Now when I say in this post “my head hurt”, I don’t just mean your average headache (although painful as it might be for some people), I’m talking like a deep, excruciating pain in my head – a feeling I had never felt before. There have been some instances where it has reached a 9 out of 10, and I don’t say that lightly. (10 being screaming in agony)

During January, after a recommendation from a friend, we went to this brilliant private Osteopath, Sarah de Lacey Munday (The Mews Clinic) who has connections among the medical industry and she also had a reputation of finding help for those people who didn’t have anywhere else to turn. 3 MRIs later I was off to a neurosurgeon (Thank you to Danni who was the main reason I had found the Walton Centre!). I decided to pay to go privately for the first appointment because I wanted to bypass the NHS waiting time, I needed to know first if this neurosurgeon could help me rather than wait just to get a “No”.

> I’d highly recommend doing this if you are a difficult case and if you’re trying to get some help. Research the consultants around the country, and look at patient feedback. I wasted a lot of money seeing one guy who was just awful. Find the best and travel any distance to see them. My mom and I drove over 3 hours to see my guy. 


The now.

So fast forward to the now. June 2016. I have been bed bound and housebound since the beginning of January. I can’t remember the last time I wore jeggings or had a full face of makeup… if you know me well, you might not believe that lol.

Now I face my first procedure this coming week where they will drill a hole in my head and screw in a bolt sensor inside to measure the inter cranial pressure for 2 days. Depending on what they find will determine the next step. Thankfully, even though The Walton Centre in Liverpool is quite far for me, they have a big team of consultants who all work together. So whatever happens and whatever course of action they need to take, I have various consultants and expertise to help me – from pain management to surgery.

My prayer is that God guides them to find the problem, fix it and I get to go back to being me again. I fully believe God can work miracles either instantly or through the guidance of medical professionals. But no matter what, I know I’m healed either way.

Future Esther